sourceThere was a period of time some years ago where I became afraid of flying. I have been flying since before I can even remember and my family has always traveled so I have gotten on a plane at least once a year for my entire life and it never bothered me. Then suddenly, every bump, every weird noise, every seat not bolted to the plane floor (word to the wise, never, I repeat never, fly a regional carrier in South America), had me breathing hard and putting a death grip on my husband's leg.
Was it a rational fear? No. I knew that I was more likely to die driving my car than in a plane. I knew that turbulence is the equivalent of hitting a bump in the road while driving and doesn't bring down a plane. I knew all that but still told myself there was something to be afraid of. Eventually, I got over it and now Kevin can sit next to me without getting the circulation to his leg cut off.
The reason I bring it up now is that lately, I have been thinking quite a bit about fear and how irrational it sometimes is but yet we let those feelings hold us back or cause us angst. If you look at a very young child, it is apparent that we are born into this world open to all things and unafraid. Through experience, we figure out what to be afraid of or, more importantly perhaps, what we feel like we need to protect in ourselves and it seems like those impressions are made before we even have the perspective to know if they are justified or not.
I think it is safe to say that everyone of us has fears. Maybe you are afraid of rejection, or of not being in control, or of not being worthy of love, or of exposing your inner self, or of being weak. Whatever it is, we all have them and they can turn into very powerful influences in our lives. The amazing part too is that certain things we are well aware we are afraid of and other things are so ingrained that we don't even recognize it as a fear.
In my own self, I can see how at times I have let certain fears motivate me in one direction or a fear will have me deciding something is a certain way before I have even tested it out to see if that is, in fact, a truth. For example, two years ago when things really fell apart with my back and I was in horrendous pain day after day after day, I started telling myself that my life was over. That it was never going to go away. Had any doctor told me that? No. Did I know that those things were implicitly true? No. But I can't tell you how much time I spent being upset and angry and depressed over something that I didn't really know to be fact. Kind of a waste of time and energy in hindsight and two years later I know my life was not over and okay, the pain hasn't completely gone away but I am soooooo much better.
Is it possible to totally eradicate our fears? I don't think so because some of them are necessary but I would love to get to a place where when fear shows it's face, I can say, "hello fear, I see you there but you are not in charge." Because I do believe that if you stare something in the face long enough, it loses it's power.
In thinking about all of this, I am working really hard to see my fears for what they truly are and to be open to what the universe throws my way without deciding one thing or another about it. Just like me no longer getting on a plane convinced that if I am not in control of it something bad will happen (btw how crazy IS that anyway because, um, I have no idea how to fly so how would it be better if I was in control?), I am working to NOT be convinced of things that I don't know are true in every aspect of my life. I can't say it is always easy or that it isn't sometimes frightening but it is something that I really see as being worth the effort.
(While you are watching this, listen to the dad yelling instructions at his daughter. From day one of the program this guy was telling her constantly what she needed to do better or that "it doesn't count if you don't do it right" and in my video here you can hear her crying saying she is trying. By the 4th day of this, I told Kevin not to be surprised if I were arrested on Friday for trying to strap a muzzle on that guy. Just let the kid be successful for a minute for crying out loud!)
A few weeks ago, Drew's special needs class went on a field trip to a local mall. Our school is the only school in our district which has a deaf and hard of hearing program in addition to the special needs classes and the typical students. This mall, every year, brings in a special Santa who is trained in working with people with special needs and who also is fluent in American sign language. It is pretty cool because kids who otherwise would not be able to communicate with Santa can tell him what they want and kids who would have a difficult time with the over stimulation that Santa at the mall can bring get an opportunity to visit with Santa as well. 
www.sassymia.com
